(I wrote most of this on Wednesday, it’s just taken me longer than I thought to process it all and write it down, hence me posting it so late. But, ANYWHO.)
Of all the events that I’ve been fortunate to attend and of all people who I’ve been fortunate to meet, there is very little that can compare to last night and how last night made me feel. I’ve been staring at my computer screen for a good half an hour now, unsure of how to begin, but I’ve got to get something down, if only to put some sort of order to my scrambled thoughts.
So, yesterday was the Testament of Youth premiere, which I went to with these lovely ladies. Upon arrival, Colin was already milling around the red carpet, looking his usual twinkly self, having some snaps taken, doing a lot of press—and looking damn sharp in his three-piece suit, I might add. At this point, I was relatively calm, which is a first for me. (Seriously, ask Jen. She has to put up with me in these kind of situations a lot.) Don’t get me wrong, I was super excited to be there, basking in the closeness of Mr. Morgan, but my main reason for wanting to (and when Colin comes second on a list, you know the first person’s a big deal) was Dominic.
Dominic is someone who perhaps isn’t quite as prominent in my oeuvre of fandom posts in comparison to others, but, as many of you know, he’s a person whom I’ve admired for many, many years and an actor whom I’ve always followed closely—I think I’ve seen the entirety of his body of work now, save for one or two episodes of The Wire. The warmth of his presence, both on-screen and off-screen, has always filled me with such joy, such comfort, and he’s one of a small handful of people whom I love to see tackling roles with such heart and vivacity.
I don’t really want to spend too long dwelling on the intricacies of the evening; it was a very sacred experience for me, the details of which I’d rather like to keep safely locked up within myself, to unravel in time and at will. Not only that, but I feel as though I could type for a long time and still not reach the core of my emotions. Hours later, reliving it all (for the umpteenth time) and trying to put the whole experience into words feels like the most Aegean task.
To speak succinctly (and for the sake of my mental health, as much as anything else), Dominic was there. He was there, all handsome and charming in his navy, slightly-too-big-for-him suit, with his crinkly-eyed face and fluffy curls and lilting voice. He was there and I was there, and that in itself is the biggest, most important thing of all.
I walked past him doing interviews on the red carpet on my way into the cinema, feeling all fiery and tingly and more than a little overwhelmed at being in such close proximity. I settled in my seat at the end of a row, watching the introductory speeches, only to realise he was hovering at my side, his hand on the swinging doors, ready to wait in the wings with the rest of the cast. I watched him stand on stage, steady and assured and true, and I watched him leave, too; slipping out through the door next to me, bright and brilliant and fleeting, but so very, very real. He wasn’t Hector or Jonathan or Richard, he was Dominic. He was a colourful amalgamation of everyone I’ve seen him be over the years, but at the same time, he was none of those people. He was his own self and I saw him being his own self—right there, right in front of me—and that is the absolute biggest delight of all.